Okay, quick story. I've always wanted to speedrun this so I did. My girlfriend sat there and watched an hour then passed out. I sat there and did 101% and instead of learning to moon kick to get into boss levels early I clipped through the staircase. I have watched enough of these speedruns to know what I was doing. I am very impressed with this time and praise God it is over. My favorite part of all this is beforehand I was reading the rules and it said I "Required: • Must hate self to submit" I thought to myself huh. I'm sure it won't be that bad. 6 hours in and I needed to use the bathroom and I physically felt my gameplay speed up. Also, my last notes are fuck mad jack and the pufferfish. The boat will never not be wonky.