*ESSENTIAL INFORMATION*     How to Piss

The title is not a joke. Without this information, the full game is impossible to access past level 16. In level 16 itself, (The beach resort level, just after the surfing section) your goal is to reach the resort bathroom and "drain the dragon". The exit door next to the resort counter is locked until you do.
However, Even after you go to the toilet and empty your bladder, the exit door will still be locked, telling you that you still have to piss. The solution to this is painfully simple. Back in the bathroom, right in front of the toilet, there is a white octogon on the floor. Go to it, crouch, and press E, or whatever your "use" key is. If done correctly, there should be about a tenth of a second of lag. Go back to the exit door, and use it. It'll literally just say "okay" and after a few seconds, open up and let you out of the level.

Side Note: As far as I know, I was the first person to discover the solution to this bug, and it took me actual years to figure out something so damn simple. I mean, nobody out there makes guides for this game, or even really plays it much so I'm kinda all we got. I wonder if I've played the most Grezzo Due out of anyone in the entire world. Hm.

Big Bad Bugs

Circus Highway Crash:
I'm not sure if it's only my own copy, but I'll just assume it's not, because this game is not...the most stable. In the very beginning of the Circus level, on the highway, DO NOT DIE. If you think you will, quicksave the moment you successfully load in. If you die before hitting a checkpoint, respawning you at the start of the level, your game will crash when respawning, killing your run. However, with the exceptions of Heresy and The Final Challenge, this is a non-issue because of the bastignatore allowing you skip the highway with ease. However, when playing those two categories, Be careful of the hammer-throwing zombies, those guys are VERY dangerous, especially on the highest difficulty, I'm pretty sure they're an insta-kill no matter your health. Oh, and be careful of the dwarf as well. Nasty little bugger.

Surfing Softlock:
On the surfing arena mentioned above, there is a way to accidentally softlock your game, where you must die and restart the whole surfing section. This occurs when you kill enemies before the boards that are supposed to drop can do so. Killing them too quickly will cause the next wave of enemies to not even spawn, stopping the entire section. You can tell if boards are about to drop because they will jiggle up and down for a second before they sink. Sometimes, when this softlocking glitch happens, the boards that are supposed to drop instead fly up into the sky. Weird.

Extremely Useful Weapons

Bastignatore:
One of the most useful weapons in the game is the Bastignatore. It looks like the Life Leech from Blood. The primary fire is useful for bigger enemies, but it shines with its alternate fire. This is an explosion with you at the center, and you become invincible for a moment while the explosion is occurring. It can wipe out crowds in an instant, although the weapon itself is mostly rare to find. The one guaranteed spot you'll find it is in the Cathedral level with the Mary statue and massive ambush of priests and cultists. It will spawn on the Preacher's table after the Mary statue has been activated and the lights go out, and will help immensely with the onslaught of enemies in that arena. This explosion also helps with speed, as it will launch you very quickly. The most helpful place you can use the Bastignatore is  in the circus level, because you can skip almost the entire level by using it to launch yourself over the hedge walls and near the end.

EgoRex:
Undebiably the most powerful weapon in the game. The only problem is that it appears so late in the game. It is only found quite late in the DLC (Don't worry it's free, it's in the game already in the download in this Guide tab). Unlike every other weapon, EgoRex has THREE attacks. The primary attack (Left Mouse button) fires hit-scan very quickly and with high damage, killing nearly all enemies with just a few hits. The secondary (Right Mouse button) is the only non-useful attack, being a giant, close-range punch. Still high damage, but slow and inefficient. The third attack is fired with Q, which usually only kicks for other weapons. But with EgoRex, this attack is a horizontal line of plasma explosions: amazing for clearing hordes of enemies, big or small. The only downside to this weapon is that it slowly hurts you as you have it equipped, though it barely matters. And using the invincibility glitch with the Bastignatore completely nullifies this. Go wild!

Unholy Transformation: This isn't exactly a weapon, but it comes up enough to be important. It is automatically used in the Wedding level, and useful in the Circus and Kraken Pope levels. It looks like a pentagram with a goat's face upon it, and makes you larger and forces you to only be able to claw with your primary or shoot BFG projectiles with your secondary. But, most importantly, it makes you entirely invincible for the 55-second duration. One last important thing about its secondary is that it follows the same rules as DOOM's BFG, in that it has tracers for all entities in a cone of the player's vision. That being said, it'll do much more damage if those tracers are divided up by less entities. In other the words: The fewer enemies are in that cone of vision, the more damage it'll do to those that are.

Ratzinger Launcher:
Massive cannon that fires heads of some pope, with a massive explosion and lasting fire that deals ridiculous damage, and just as much to you. One of the most destructive weapons in the game, and for the foreigner version, it's THE most powerful weapon in the game for sure, due to it lacking so much content. Nevertheless, in the full game, it's just as powerful as before, one of my personal favorites.

Important Skips

Cathedral Waiting For Mary Skip:
In the Cathedral level, you are intended to walk around and just do whatever until the lights dim and a corrupted statue of the Virgin Mary rises from the floor, with an eye switch that you have to press to slowly start the ambush sequence. However, you can actually press that eye button the moment you get to the Cathedral floor, THROUGH the floor. I can't describe where it is, look at other runs to see. And don't be afraid to spam the "use" key trying to find it. I sure do!

Cathedral Ambush Skip: 
Also in the Cathedral level, you're supposed to follow up hitting the corrupted Mary button by waiting some more, then having a mosaic painting open, killing a floating Padre Pio head, and then killing an onslaught of priests and cultists, until you have to press four eye buttons on pillars to get into the Cathedral dungeon. However, by using the bastignatore, you can jump while using the secondary attack to launch yourself to the ledge of the mosaic window. The moment it starts to open, get inside and use the primary fire to kill the Padre Pio head before it can teleport out. 
This will awaken all of the cultists on the floor of that secret room, which you can use the bastignatore's secondary to easily kill. Be aware that before the Padre Pio head dies, all of these cultists will be unkillable. After they are all dead, use the secondary to blast jump out of the room through the mosaic window, and get to those pillars. You can hit the eye buttons even while the pillars are dropping their stone covers, so hit as many as you can as fast as you can before it teleports you to the stairwell!

By the way, there's a crucified cyberdemon in the mosaic room as well, be sure there isn't a cultist on top of it, because every single one needs to die for the ambush sequence to end.

Minimetro door:
In the level Minimetro, you will start off outside the conductor's door, with a door on your right. You can open this and skip having to fight through the enemies in front of you. However, you have about a tight-rope of width to walk on before you hit the dirt next to the minimetro, which instantly kills you, so be extremely cautious when travelling out there!

Traffic Jam Skip:
During the traffic jam level, You can skip the entire level by jumping off the cliff, into the water below. However, it's not exactly the water, but the boat on the water. There's a civilian in it, and in the middle wall of the boat, there's an invisible button. Hit that button and it'll skip the whole traffic level to the outside of the minimall with all the dinosaurs.

Surfing With Your Toes:
In the Beach resort level, you have a long surfing section, where you are supposed to hop from board to board, with enemies popping up on new ones. The water around you will instantly kill you if you fail to jump when a board falls. However, from the very board you start on, you can leap onto the giant wave behind you and not take die. Now you can sit back and take that arena as a shooting gallery. The only problem with this is how far away some of the enemies are, so finding a perfectly accurate gun (My favorites are the ray pistol and especially the tommy gun) is almost essential.

Name	Author
ESSENTIAL INFORMATION How to Piss	Mikoit 1 year ago
Big Bad Bugs	Mikoit 1 year ago
Extremely Useful Weapons	Mikoit 1 year ago
Important Skips	Mikoit 1 year ago
The game is free. Download it!	Six 7 years ago