Things to Note before getting started:

Verb Hotkeys are indicated by a letter in parenthesis i.e. (U) for Use, (E) for Examine, (T) for Talk, and (I) for Inventory Alternatively the Inventory can be opened with a right click or by pressing TAB SKIP refers to the ESC key, which can often be buffered by holding down the key ENTER and EXIT are used interchangeably to mean double-clicking or using the ENTER hotkey when there is a RED ARROW When in dialogue trees, you can often skip most of the text by pressing ESC. Most dialogue selection in the game you want to select your option with the mouse, then skip one line with period, then press ESC and then select the next dialogue option. There are a few exceptions to this rule where you can't ESC through, so instead just hold period to skip through all the lines as fast as possible.

Time Starts on selecting Mega-Monkey Difficulty

Part 1: The Demise of the Zombie Pirate LeChuck

• SKIP, Talk to(T) Wally: 5, 5, 6, 5, 5, Pick up(U) plastic hook
• Use(U) cannon and shoot all 4 row boats (2, 1, 3, 4), You may hold TAB to fire the cannon automatically
• (I) use plastic hook with ramrod, SKIP, ENTER window
• (I) use gaff with debris, ENTER window
• (I) use cutlass with cannon restraint rope, SKIP, Use(U) cannon, SKIP
• Pick up(U) bag, Pick up(U) ring, (I) use ring with porthole, SKIP

Part 2: The Curse Gets Worse

• Pick up(U) glowing ember, EXIT to the right, ENTER the swamp
• ENTER the ship, SKIP, 4, ENTER the ship
• Pull(U) the alligator tongue, SKIP, 4, 4, 1, 4, 6
• Pick up(U) pin, SKIP, Pick up(U) paste, (I) Use bag of wooden nickels with gumball machine, Chew(T) pack of gum, EXIT to map
• ENTER Puerto Pollo(Right), ENTER Theater, Examine(E) pirate coat, SKIP, Open(U) pocket, Pick up(U) Glove, Pick up(U) dandruff, SKIP, Pick up(U) magic wand, (I) use magic wand with magic hat, SKIP, Pick up(U) book, EXIT
• ENTER dueling area, EXIT dueling area, ENTER Barbery Coast, SKIP
• Push(U) Cutthroat Bill, SKIP, Push(U) Cutthroat Bill, SKIP, Pick up jawbreaker, use lice with comb, SKIP, Use(U) barber chair, SKIP, Use(U) handle, SKIP, Pick up(U) paperweight, SKIP, (Use(U) Handle, SKIP)x3, Pick up(U) scissors, SKIP, EXIT
• ENTER dueling area, EXIT dueling area, Open(U) mysterious door, SKIP, Examine plaque, SKIP, (I) use scissors with undergrowth
• Walk to left, SKIP, (Pick up(U) items in snake, SKIP)x3, (I) use ipecac flower with pancake syrup, use syrup of ipecac with snake head, SKIP
• Pick up(U) reeds, SKIP, Pick up(U) thorny plant, SKIP, (I) Use helium balloons with paperweight, Blow(T) floating balloon, SKIP, (I) use thorn with hollow reed, use pea shooter with floating balloon, SKIP, EXIT
• ENTER Puerto Pollo(Right), ENTER mysterious door, ENTER Captain Blondebeard's
• 1, SKIP, (I) give jawbreaker to Captain Blondebeard, SKIP, (I) give pack of gum to Captain Blondebeard, SKIP, use pin with bubble, SKIP, Eat(T) tasty, buttery biscuit, SKIP, Push(U) quiet patron, SKIP, Pick up(U) serrated breadknife, SKIP, (I) use maggots with gross chicken, SKIP, Pick up(U) club card, (I) Inhale(T) helium balloon, SKIP, (I) use chewed gum with gold tooth, Pick up(U) biscuit cutter, Pick up(U) pie pan, (I) Chew(T) tooth in gum, SKIP, EXIT, SKIP
• (I) use pie pan with mud puddle, SKIP, ENTER mysterious door, ENTER dueling area, ENTER grassy knoll, (I) use serrated breadknife with sawhorse, SKIP, (I) use biscuit cutter with rubber tree, SKIP, (I) use ember on stick with trail of rum, SKIP
• ENTER Barbery Coast, (I) use glove with Edward Van Helgen, SKIP, Close(U) box lid, Open(U) banjo case, SKIP
• BANJO: Match the banjo strings in order a la Simon Says 4 then 5 then 6 times, Hotkeys for the strings TOP to BOTTOM(1-5), SKIP, Pick up(U) gun pile, Pick up(U) pistol, (I) use pistol with dueling banjo, SKIP
• (I) give gold tooth to salty pirate, SKIP, Talk to(T) Haggis, 2, X, 4, SKIP, EXIT, SKIP, EXIT
• ENTER Danjer Cove, (I) use paste with skeleton arm, use paste with rubber plug, use sticky rubber plug with boat, SKIP, Use(U) boat, SKIP, ENTER pirate ship, (I) use serrated breadknife with plank, SKIP, ENTER pirate ship, SKIP, X, X, SKIP, EXIT
• ENTER Puerto Pollo(right), ENTER mysterious door, ENTER Captain Blondebeard's, SKIP, 3, SKIP
• Open(U) porthole, (I) use book with LeChimp, SKIP, EXIT window, SKIP, EXIT
• ENTER Cabana, (I) give club card to cabana boy, SKIP, 2, (Pick up(U) towels, SKIP)x3, (I) use dry towels with ice bucket, SKIP, (I) use wet towels with cabana boy, SKIP, Pick up(U) cooking oil, ENTER beach
• Walk to hot sand, SKIP, (I) (use wet towels with hot sand)x3, SKIP, Open(U) gate, Pick up(U) mug, EXIT
• ENTER Puerto Pollo(Left), (I) use mug with mug, Talk to(T) Kenny, 2, SKIP, Pick up(U) pitcher, (I) use pitcher with dye vat, EXIT
• ENTER Brimstone Beach, (I) give bottomless mug to sunbather, SKIP, (I) use pitcher with red dye with bottomless mug, SKIP, (I) use cooking oil with map, SKIP, Pick up(U) map, SKIP, EXIT, SKIP
• ENTER Puerto Pollo(Right), ENTER Theater, ENTER Upstairs, SKIP, Use(U) handle, Click South East, North West, West, South, East, North East, North East, East, South West, SKIP after each direction, (I) use chicken grease with cannon balls, SKIP, ENTER stage, Pick up(U) shovel, SKIP

Part 3: Three Sheets to the Wind

• ADVANCED: If playing in a Non-English language automatically skip the song, otherwise follow LeoLitz's guide "Getting English version with skippable song"
• IF playing through the song, Line cursor up on option 4, then hold Enter till the song is done, Choose ANY difficulty for ship combat, Examine(E) navigational chart INSULT SWORD FIGHTING BEGINNER:
• To begin a fight: Click pirate ship, (shift+V), Y, 1 or 2
• Pirates 1 and 2 will draw 3 insults from the pool of 16 when you initiate combat. If they know an insult they will know the corresponding comeback. Pirates 3-6 will draw 5 insults. Rottingham draws 10 insults from his pool of 16.
• Learn new insults by hearing them, use insults against a pirate and if they use the correct response against you you will learn it
• After your first fight with each pirate you can SKIP their final dialogue to save a little bit of time.
• It does not matter which(if any) pirates you defeat, as you will be able to fight Rottingham without the need to upgrade your Cannons by skipping through all of the ship combat fights
• Starting out I would recommend learning 9+ responses before going to fight Rottingham. 12 responses will mean you can't possibly lose to Rottingham.

PIRATE INSULT CHART Every enemy I've met I've annihilated! - With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated. You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee. - I look THAT much like your fiancée? Killing you would be justifiable homicide! - Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide. You're the ugliest monster ever created! - If you don't count all the ones you've dated. I'll skewer you like a sow at a buffet! - When I'm done with you, you'll be a boneless filet. Would you like to be buried, or cremated? - With you around, I'd prefer to be fumigated. Coming face to face with me must leave you petrified! - Is that your face? I thought it was your backside. When your father first saw you, he must have been mortified! - At least mine can be identified. You can't match my witty repartee! - I could, if you would use some breath spray. I have never seen such clumsy swordplay! - You would have, but you were always running away. En garde! Touché! - Oh, that is so cliché. Throughout the Caribbean, my great deeds are celebrated! - Too bad they're all fabricated. I can't rest 'til you've been exterminated! - Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated. I'll leave you devastated, mutilated, and perforated! - Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated. Heaven preserve me! You look like something that's died! - The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde. I'll hound you night and day! - Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay!

ROTTINGHAM INSULT CHART My attacks have left entire islands depopulated! - With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated. You have the sex appeal of a Shar-Pei. - I look THAT much like your fiancée? When I'm done, your body will be rotted and putrefied! - Then killing you must be justifiable fungicide. Your looks would make pigs nauseated. - If you don't count all the ones you've dated. Your lips look like they belong on catch of the day! - When I'm done with you, you'll be a boneless filet. I give you a choice. You can be gutted, or decapitated! - With you around, I'd prefer to be fumigated. Never before have I seen someone so sissified! - Is that your face? I thought it was your backside. You're a disgrace to your species, you're so undignified! - At least mine can be identified. Nothing can stop me from blowing you away! - I could, if you would use some breath spray. I have never lost to a melee! - You would have, but you were always running away. Your mother wears a toupee! - Oh, that is so cliché. My skills with a sword are highly venerated! - Too bad they're all fabricated. Your stench would make an outhouse cleaner irritated! - Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated. I can't tell you which of my traits leaves you most intimidated. - Your odor alone makes me aggravated, agitated, and infuriated. Nothing on this Earth can save your sorry hide! - The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde. You'll find I am dogged and relentless to my prey! - Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay!

Part 4: The Bartender, The Thieves, his Aunt, and her Lover

• SKIP, Talk to(T) Haggis, 3, 3, 4, Bite(T) bottle, SKIP, EXIT
• ENTER Hotel, ENTER Hotel, Open(U) door, Pick up(U) refrigerator magnet, EXIT
• Pick up(U) cushion, ENTER door, EXIT, EXIT to map
• ENTER cemetery, Pick up(U) smelly dog hair, SKIP, (I) give half-eaten maggoty biscuit to old dog, SKIP, Pick up(U) mallet, Pick up(U) chisel, EXIT to map
• ENTER windmill, Pick up(U) pepper, EXIT, ENTER Elaine, SKIP, EXIT
• ENTER beach, (I) use cushion with rocks, (I) use mallet with rubber tree, SKIP, EXIT
• ENTER Hotel, ENTER, Pick up(U) brochures, (I) give egg to bartender, SKIP, (I) give smelly dog hair to bartender, SKIP, (I) give pepper to bartender, SKIP, 1, 4, (I) use Head-B-Clear with chisel, use Head-B-Clear with Caribbean Body Slam, Drink(T) spiked drink, SKIP
• (I) use chisel with coffin, SKIP, Pick up(U) coffin nail, SKIP, SKIP yikes, (I) use chisel with coffin, SKIP, EXIT to map
• ENTER hotel, Pick up(U) jar, SKIP, ENTER up stairs, Open(U) door, (I) use mallet with nail, SKIP, Open(U) door, Pick up(U) nail, Pick up(U) portrait, SKIP, (I) use portrait with scissors, use portrait with door, SKIP, Open(U) door, Look through(E) porthole, SKIP, Open(U) door
• (I) use laminated business card with door, SKIP, Open(U) door, ENTER door, Pull(U) bed, SKIP, (I) use coffin nails with bed, SKIP, (I) use nail with bed, SKIP, Pick up(U) book, EXIT downstairs
• (I) use face with mirror, SKIP, Talk to(T) bartender, 1, Talk to(T) bartender, 1x7, (I) use Head-B-Clear with grog, Drink(T) spiked drink, SKIP
• ENTER back of crypt, Pick up(U) crowbar, Walk to back, SKIP, Pick up(U) Murray, Look through(E) crack, (I) use skeleton arm with lantern, SKIP, (I) use lantern with Murray, SKIP, EXIT to map
• ENTER hotel, SKIP, ENTER door, (I) use chisel with jar lid, use chisel with wheel o' cheese, SKIP, Pick up(U) death certificate, EXIT
• Talk to(T) Madame Xima, 1, 1, 1, (Talk to(T) Madame Xima, 1) x4, Pick up(U) tarot cards, SKIP, ENTER upstairs, ENTER door(back)
• (I) use crowbar with boarded hole, SKIP, use crowbar with bed, SKIP, Pick up(U) engagement band, EXIT, SKIP
• ENTER Stan's, SKIP, (I) give gold tooth to Stan, SKIP, (I) give insurance policy to Stan, SKIP, EXIT to map
• ENTER village, SKIP, Pick up(U) block of tofu, SKIP, Pick up(U) measuring cup, ENTER Volcano
• (I) use chisel with block of tofu, use tofu mask, SKIP, (I) use un-melted hunk of nacho cheese with massive seething caldera, SKIP, EXIT
• ENTER windmill, (I) use umbrella with windmill blades, SKIP, (I) use measuring cup with barrel, (I) use empty jar with barrel, EXIT door, SKIP, EXIT
• ENTER Elaine, (I) use jar of water with stump, SKIP, (I) use jar lid with fireflies, EXIT
• ENTER lighthouse, (I) use lantern with lantern post, (I) use pin with cork, use cork with refrigerator magnet, use cork with measuring cup, use mirror with mirror, EXIT
• ENTER clearing, EXIT, ENTER beach, Talk to(T) mysterious figure, SKIP, 1, SKIP, Talk to(T) Effete LaFoot, SKIP, 1, SKIP, (I) Use(U) Umbrella, SKIP
• 5, 5, dot, SKIP(1x), dot, 5, 1, (I) use tarot cards with weak hand, SKIP, EXIT SKIP
• ENTER hotel, EXIT, (I) use un-melted hunk of nacho cheese with cooking pot, SKIP, Pick up(U) cooking pot, SKIP
• Pick up(U) slippery greasy hand lotion, EXIT, ENTER clearing, (I) use slippery greasy hand lotion with cursed diamond ring, SKIP, Pull(U) cursed diamond ring, SKIP, (I) use engagement band with enormous diamond, use completed diamond ring with Elaine's left ring finger, SKIP

Part 5: Kiss of the Spider Monkey

• 1, 1, 5, X, Open(U) door, SKIP
• Talk to(T) Dinghy Dog, 2, 3, 5, Pick up(U) anchor, (I) use anchor with pie pan, use heavy pie pan with bottle, use heavy fake pie with stack of meringue pies, SKIP, Open(U) gate, Look through(E) hole, SKIP, (push(U) Dinghy Dog, SKIP)x6, ENTER rollercoaster, SKIP, Pick up(U) pepper mill, Talk to(T) soda jerk, SKIP, (I) use plain snow cone with pepper mill AND Dinghy Dog hair AND meringue pie, Eat(T) disgusting snow cone, SKIP

Part 6: Guybrush Kicks Butt Once Again

• Pick up(U) fallen rope, Hold SKIP to enter cart, SKIP to exit cart, Pick up(U) keg 0' rum, SKIP, Hold SKIP to enter cart, SKIP to exit cart, Open(U) lantern, SKIP, Blow(T) flask o' oil, Pick up(U) flask o' oil, Hold SKIP to enter cart
• (I) use fallen rope with flask o' oil, use fallen rope with keg o' rum, use explosive keg o' rum with Dynamo-Monkelectric Giant Snow Monkey, Walk down, use pepper mill, Wait, SKIP, use pepper mill with LeChuck, TIME