Forums  /  Talk  /  The Official Copy Pasta Thread (no copy pasterino plz)
  IdanZelIdanZel

(Shoutouts to this thread: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1ehPA288OIhHyUnbiU9yVs-RUwUvWGJfX6DnHL2hQyY4/ )

Speedruns tend to bum me out more than anything else. Just players taking advantage of every glitch known to man to 'finish' a game. In this case they literally spend most of this video gliding backwards through the air, skipping entire chunks of map and gameplay. I know that sequence-breaking and glitch usage is pretty much a given when doing a speedrun, I just don't find it all that entertaining nor impressive. I'd much rather see someone use legitimate tactics to take down a game's most strenuous and difficult segments in a short period of time; such as having practised a boss fight's mechanics down to extremely precise timing, or having found the best way to take out or evade/sneak past groups of enemies before proceeding. Not positioning objects so that you can use flaws in a game's physics engine to send you hurtling across areas outside of the map design and landing you at the end of the segment.

This is rather impressive, even with cheats (AND multiple players), however, in my opinion, I believe that a true "speedrun" should be done without cheats. I mean, I could noclip through the entire game and call it speedrunning, but that wouldn't be fair. I am not saying I hate the video. The video is still awesome, I just believe that speedruns should be kept cheat-free and fair.

Idc wtf you say GLITCHES are cheating. Dont say its not or your a stupid cunt who has no idea what their talking about. So if im playing a game and i glitch through the floor and am able to shoot you through the floor its not cheating its just glitching right? No. If you have to glitch to do something you didnt do it the way it was intended for you to. Thus making it cheating to accomplish said goal. Nigga im gonna keep saying the same shit over and over everytime somone comments

 
  dFocus89dFocus89

My name is George Takei, not Takai, like you've insisted on pronouncing it for the last 40 years! Remember: Takei, like in "toupee." Your hair is like my men; every year, it gets darker and thicker. All night long, I've had to stare at that tangled, sticky, messy clump of fur. Farrah, please close your legs! At least Betty White had the decency to shave. Shatner is a generous actor. He gave Nichelle Nichols herpes! If Arty's my cuddly muffin, Shatner, you are a rich, gooey devil's food cake that I want to drop my face into and go BBBBBBBBBB!

 
  jameshwwfcjameshwwfc

Now that chat has died down, I'd just like to thank William Shatner for being a sexy devil for the past 64 years. He made his debut in 1950 and has speed run into to our hearts, he has slowly urned his into our speed running hearts. This urn and every urn, will be dedicated to the memory of our amazing idiol William Shatner. Did you know that during the 1st San Andreas run CJ didn't blow up Ryder's car Shatner did. I'd like to raise a donger to William Shatner one sexy beast who beat this game quicker than anyone on speedrun.com. Raise a Kappa to William "Pac" Shatner

Thought I'd try and end game spamerino

 
  mamamia1001mamamia1001

The ZFG's run paradox outlines a situation in which a run on a console must be considered, for all intents and purposes, simultaneously alive and dead. ZFG created this paradox as a justification for killing runs.

(posted after zfg lost 1min after being 2mins ahead)

 
  andi36356andi36356

48 year old from somalia : hello am 48 year old man from somalia srry for my bad england. I selled my wife for internet connection for play legend leauge and i want to become the goodest player like you. I play with 400 ping. pls no copy pasterino my story

A real classic Kappa

GhotyGhoty likes this. 
  RecklessReckless

The stream starts, and so my spam begins. It shall not end until i am banned. I shall fear no mod, sub to no streamer. I shall live and die in the Chat. For i am the value in the bomber. I am the BM in the lethal. I am the salt in the defeat. I pledge my keyboard to the Chat, for this stream and all the streams to come. Kappa

 
  dFocus89dFocus89

You know what, I was a bloody fool. The facts are, I ran around like a little monkey for a lot of years. And what was I running from? Who bloody knows? But while it was a good laugh and that, right, its over. Them days is for wankers. These days, I'm all about Krant, right, as I've discovered a new and better way to look after meself. It's no longer a vicious and nasty trail of pregnant women, used up drugs and destroyed hotel rooms in my wake. Now, I am a man of the tract. oh, I know, I know, how could the chemical doctor sort his self out, kidda? Well, I couldn't. On me own, I was lost, proper lost, but thanks to Cris Formage and the fine folks at The Epsilon Programme, I've found a better way to live. No more cocaine, no more heroin, no more ceaseless, boundless self pleasure. henceforth, ladies and mental patients, I am following the words of the tract! The world is 157 years old. Sperm is a lie! Proper truth, man, when you think about it, like. And, what's more, The Epsilon Tract only tithes at 8.75% so I've found salvation for a low, low price. You know what? Give it a try. You might like it. My music is better than ever, and finally, my lyrics are infused with spirituality.

Courtesy of http://www.maccer.net/

 
  guywithguywith

Chat friendly:

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Raw:

ON DECEMBER 28, DON'T MISS THE MAIN EVENT OF YEAR FOR #GTA WHERE S. DEFENDING HIS WWE CHAMPION AGAINST RACTROT, MHMD_FVC, WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, ULTIMAOMEGA07, DRAGOONCLAWNZ AND MANY MORE. WILL S. COME UP ON TOP? WILL OMEGA BECOME UNDISPUTED CHAMPION? WILL RACTROT TAKE CHAMPION? FIND OUT IN THIS ONCE IN A LIFETIME MAIN EVENT. WITH ONLY $4.99, YOU'LL SEE THE ACTION IN CRYSTAL HD, ONLY ON TWITCH.TV/GTAMARATHON

 
  JaredWhiteJaredWhite

What the fuck did you just fucking type about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at MIT, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids with Anonymous, and I have over 300 confirmed DDoSes. I am trained in online trolling and I’m the top hacker in the entire world. You are nothing to me but just another virus host. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on the Internet, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with typing that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we chat over IRC I am tracing your IP with my damn bare hands so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your computer. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can hack into your files in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in hacking, but I have access to the entire arsenal of every piece of malware ever created and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the world wide web, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking fingers. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit code all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

 
  JaredWhiteJaredWhite

What the fuck did you just fucking type about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at MIT, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids with Anonymous, and I have over 300 confirmed DDoSes. I am trained in online trolling and I’m the top hacker in the entire world. You are nothing to me but just another virus host. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on the Internet, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with typing that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we chat over IRC I am tracing your IP with my damn bare hands so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your computer. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can hack into your files in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in hacking, but I have access to the entire arsenal of every piece of malware ever created and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the world wide web, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking fingers. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit code all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

 
  radiomathradiomath

Dude you need to quit fucking snap chatting mckenna. Stop. She doesn't respond with anything meaningful for a reason and she's not interested in you.
Who am I? The man whom she is in love with.
She already told me not to worry, she's not interested in you. Sorry I bothered you kid.
I've dated her since 2 summers ago. If you aren't trying to get at my woman or being inappropriate I don't care if you snap her occasionally.
Just don't try anything man. You'll embarrass yourself and anger me.
We are in love and we're making love tomorrow. So if you have any ill intentions with my woman you can forget it right now. I'm the biggest and best she's ever had, only man she's ever loved and the only man who could truly satisfy her physically. You will never have her. And she loves me.
I don't have any problems with you if you are over my woman and realize you will never be with or touch her again.
I apologize for coming off as a dick, just me and kenna are really deep in love and we've been through a lot and I just moved back home and it makes me a little jealous and angry to see a man she used to date before me is snap chatting her....
We don't need any extra bullshit or drama right now, so don't bring us any please is all I ask friend.
If you try to talk to her any way but as a brother, or you try to see her at all, if she tells me you do anything inappropriate or anything outside of what a strict brother like friend would do,we are going to have a huge problem.
I will leave you alone now dude if you're not trying to get at the woman who I love and whom is in love with me.
That entire summer she was with me. She left kyle for me. She's been with me ever since, she even loved me and made love to me before she EVER let anything happen with you. You didn't please her. She didn't have strong feelings for you at all. And she immediately ended shit with you for me once she knew I loved her too. So get any ideas of the past out of your head.
None of this truth should bug you if you're over her but I'm just making sure. I hate when my baby's friends have ill intentions and she thinks they are just friends and have no alternative motive. But idk if I trust you at all.
If I can trust you to not stress me and my baby or fuck with our love tell me.
I will leave you alone and apologize.
But if you aren't over her and you're tryna "get some" or you're tryna get back in her life, it's NOT HAPPENING. She said you were nothing to her, and the sex was bad anyway haha. You're small and weak and she said it all felt wrong after being with me. She's been with me ever since. We're in love. And tomorrow me and her will be together in my room making love alll day how we always have together. If you have a problem speak up like a man or tell me our love doesn't bug you and I'll apologize, it's simple.
So??? What is it? You are after my woman then huh?!
Tell me the fucking truth man.
Don't you dare be disrespectful and gross enough to bring it up, but if if you ask her about anything she shared with me about your weak ass, she may be nice and lie to you, or she may not care and tell you the truth. Either way. I'm her soullmate and her boyfriend of the past two years almost. And she tells me everything and NEVER lies to me. I don't care haha. Just stay away from my kenna.
I sincerely apologize if you have no ill intentions and aren't trying to make moves with my woman. And i respect you as a guy in the service. I'm sure you're an ok dude. But just as a friend. You're nothing to my kenna but a brother like friend.
I just wanna be sure you know it and don't forget it.
Find a nice classy woman where you are stationed, marry her.... But back off of mine. You will never even compare to me in her eyes. Not even close haha.I just don't need you interfering with me and kenna's love. It's our lives man. It's really not cool....
Goodbye man, good luck. Respect to you being in the service. Sorry to bring your day down with my crazy bullshit but. Me and kenna are head over heels.... I can't help but be crazy about her. I love her with all of my heart and I will protect her from her untrustworthy fake friends. Not saying you are one. But you're dodging telling me what's going on in your head so I'm questioning a lot right now.
Just know I'm never gonna hurt her, I'm always going to have her back, I'd give my life for her without hesitation, and I will protect her from anything, everything, and anyone.
She is the love of my life. I fully intend to marry and give kenna my children. And we've talked a lot about it. Just don't make shit harder than it already is.
I just moved back and me and her miss each other so badly and we are FINALLY go to see each other tomorrow and make love for the first time since halloween....
I hope you don't hate me man. I'm a good dude. Just protective of the woman who holds my heart. And who's heart I hold and must protect.
I hope you can understand.
She promised me there's nothing at all to worry about with you and that she's not interested:"/ I wish I knew before I embarrassingly went off on you. I'm so sorry man.
I'm sorry.
Please don't mention this to my baby:/ I'm really embarrassed and while she will understand, I just feel like an ass for attacking you when you have nothing with my kenna and no intention to.
Good bye brother. I hope you find your one true love someday. It'll make you crazy, trust me, but you'll find her one day. I found mine when I was really young. And it's my kenna 🙂

 
  velocinatorvelocinator

Greetings Rockstar Games,
I am a member of the Grand Theft Auto Five speedrunning group. It has come to our attention that the prologue cutscene is unskippable, and we would like for you to please allow us to skip this portion of the game, since we play the same game over, and over. We waste five minutes of our valuable lives just sitting through a movie that we already know the plot to. It is also recommended to me by other members of the community to ask weather or not it is fine to speedrun the game using the DLC. This is a very common debate in our chats, and we would like to hear your opinion on it. Also, we would like to know how the next generation version of Grand Theft Auto Five is slower. Is it to hinder our speedruns? Please answer all of our questions, and please allow us to skip the prologue (and maybe even a "speedrunning mode ". Signed velocinator™ speedrunning Inc.

 
  MelisMelis

Mhmd_FVC how does it feel to have no power ? this is how it feels for me being a non mod in your stream

ryedawgryedawg, MattieMattie and GhotyGhoty like this. 
  andi36356andi36356

What's the point? How is this popular? The logistics of how it works is fascinating, but seriously... how long ago did this game come out? There are other games that exist. How many of you are in your 20s and 30s? Just... wow... I'm a huge nerd and this level of autism and childishness makes me want to drop video games and never look back. This shit is sad

[Totally not stolen from Twitter DendiFace ]

 
  possessedwarriorpossessedwarrior

Hey PW. I want to once again congratulate you on achieving your milestone for TBOGT. You've been very dedicated and I admire that. You're a great person and I hope you will stick around doing what you do best for years. It's an honor to me that I can talk to you online!

S.S. likes this. 
  dFocus89dFocus89

MD doing 100% in vice city coming up next and im going to go pee for the next 5 minutes because i really have to go to the bathroom have fun everybody enjoy the next run and hopefully ill see you around see you in the chat everybody

BoszBosz likes this. 
  dFocus89dFocus89

Asazin, yours is incomplete. You could clearly hear 'MD doing [...]"

S.S. likes this. 
  velocinatorvelocinator

Dearest @RockstarGames,
WE BETTER BE ABLE TO SKIP THE PROLOGUE SO HELP ME GOD. IF YOU DON'T ALLOW US TO SKIP IT, WE WILL BE FORCED TO BREAK THE GAME TO FORCE A NEW WORLD RECORD
- aloha, Velocinator speedrunning, Inc.

 
  Trollbear666Trollbear666

Everytime someone says Half Life 3 on the internet a timer on gabens desk prolongs by one minute, stop saying Half Life 3 if you want it ever released people. spread the word and stop saying Half Life 3