I keep pausing

do the re-calibrating during cutscenes (like when characters are talking, during black transition screens, etc.), if you accidentally get stuck while outside of a cutscene, you'll HAVE to recalibrate with a pause as well, it's just slow.

I don't know why I cant get it,im using emu with a xbox one controller.should it still work?

If you are pressing L, R, and Start at the SAME time, it should work. it might be harder if you are using trigger buttons as L and R. I would recommend the LB or RB for L and R in this game. I have no idea if emulator doesn't let you re-calibrate the controller, but I can't think of any reason why it wouldn't

is it a one frame?

You have to play on N64 with a N64 controller.