[Intro: Danny Sexbang (Luigi)] Princess Peach Won't you listen to my speech? I don't have any stars of invincibility But you're the brightest star in the sky tonight for me I'm your Luigi

[Verse 1: Egoraptor (Mario)] What up, bitch? I got a one-up, bitch What's inside the question block? It's my dick It's-a-me, a-Mario, I'm more Italian than pastrami I'll take you by the peaches and give you the hot salami I save you from dragons and evil Boos that are spooky Must I be a raccoon to get inside your tanooki? I will mount you like Yoshi and show you things you've never seen My mushroom's now mega if you know what I mean So suck it!

[Chorus: Luigi, Rachel Bloom (Princess Peach)] Mario, you always do this shit I like a girl and then you ruin it By yelling stuff about your dick Until they go away

Hey Luigi, it's okay That Mario's a bit risque Just tell me what you need to say Please don't be afraid

[Spoken: Luigi] Oh, Princess. It means so much for me to hear you say that The only thing I've ever wanted to tell you is that-- goddamn it

[Verse 2: Mario] I'm here to pleasure that ass I'd like to go first, princess, but I always come last And you say we'll get together but I'm jacking off alone Koopa Troopa skeletons aren't the only dry bones I am tired of your run around it's such a fucking hassle I go through shit and then you're in another fucking castle You gotta think about it, well I don't believe the hype You'll have a lot of time to think when you are smoking on my warp pipe

[Chorus: Princess Peach, Luigi, Princess Peach & Luigi, (Mario)] O-M-G, I can't decide On which of you should be the guy To take me on your mustache ride That'll redefine my life

I'm ready to give love a shot It's not about how many coins you've got I just know I like you a lot (Yo, sluts, check out my yacht!) Ugh

[Bridge: Luigi & Mario] Let me take you on a magic kart ride I'll bust all your balloons when I smack your backside We'