But what is not true?

AND here on the forum it is also forbidden to use this word?

and with the moderation I have no way to contact because I am not on the server, I can not send them a pv message because they do not accept from strangers

and on Modmail I can no longer send any message....

EllaTAS yes, because I already used that word once and got banned but then after consulting it with them I got unban and then I accidentally used that word again but I emphasize

In the context that I called myself a "retard" and not that I offended someone, I speak English very poorly and that's why I write everything in a translator and then paste the translated message into the chat on the server, I really accidentally used it....

I do not know what to do because what, because of such a mistake I should be banned forever....

I already tried to explain it to them but all the time they write

"after all, we already clearly told you not to use it, so there is no more chance".

Hi, sorry, because I have such a case

well, I was banned in May 2023 on discord official src because I used the word "retard", but I did not use this word against someone, I just wrote

"I am such a retard that I fired one cycle" and I accidentally used this word, you can even ask the moderators of this server, because it was a stupid situation, as I emphasize, I did not offend anyone just used the word "retard" against myself.

then I got a warning, but then I got an unban and then accidentally this situation happened again and I have a ban from June 2023 and can I somehow consult with you on this issue

I am very anxious to join this server, because I want to learn new tactics and I have no one to write to and on your server several hundred people will read it immediately....

I really would not insult anyone because I know what it threatens, but as you can see by mistake I got permaban and I think it is wrong decision, it would be different if I insulted someone