In the beginning, I need to clarify that you should be respectful, kind and fair not only in speedrun community but also around the internet and even in real life. This is the basic manner.
First of all, I believe that the purpose of most people using internet is for entertainment and relaxing. I think that it is important NOT to create negative experiences for other people. In short: treat others the way you would like to be treated. Specifically, there are many different kinds of people on the internet. Everyone has different opinions on same thing. It is very important to respect other's opinion. For example, even though you may think someone's action is meaningless. However, you need to learn that there is a reason for everything. Even if it might seem pointless to you, it may have some special meaning to them. Do not comment on someone if you do not know the things comprehensively. Misunderstanding someone will make them feel bad, which can be avoided. Being respectful is very important. Right? Try to understand their point of view.
Secondly, no one is perfect. It is unnecessary to deliberately magnify someone's mistake. But it does NOT mean do not tell someone if they made mistake. However, instead of critiquing, I think it is better to remind them nicely. Critiquing so hard will affect someone's mental health so much. Also do not look down someone's ability. Do not judge a book by its cover. Again, do not comment someone before you have known the things comprehensively.
Thirdly, be fair to everyone. If you are fair to everyone. people will respect and trust you. Fairness is important. It takes place in all our lives. Fairness is very important in building a good community. Fairness is It is not only making sure that everyone is treated the same. It encourages, respect, responsibility, leadership, trust and a life that matters. All of these things affect a community.
In conclusion, being respectful, kind and fair is very important. Please point out if I made any mistake in this article. This article may just be my superficial view. Sorry if my English is not very good.
Best of luck, Pika
I am afraid that this is the internet, so allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.
Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
To be easier to understand Cheating in speedrunning / exam / game is obviously a unfair actions. Do you think those are acceptable? Obviously no, that is why being fair is important
If someone is not respectful, they would disrespect other people in some ways like insulting. That affects the mental health of someone gets disrespected very hard.
Also being rude (not kind) will make people do not want to stay in a community.
I hope you can understand via those examples
@PikAsriel I agree with you that people should try to be nice to eachother, but there are many scenarios when telling people the full truth (even if it's rude) is very much required. Furthermore, when you say 'Critiquing so hard will affect someone's mental health so much' that isn't really the case. It is true for some people, but most people can simply take critique as critique and not let it rule their lives. Critique is quite simply someone's opinion, not concrete fact, there's no reason to take what someone says at face value, rather it can be a good idea to consider the point they made and weather or not you think it's valid. Not sure exactly what you are referencing when you say 'critiquing so hard' either, generally people give responses on here that are simply stating their opinion on the matter and citing exactly why they believe that's the case (such as I am here) or they make a troll response like O.D.W. just did where nothing they really say is serious (and you really shouldn't let that affect you). When you say things like "being rude (not kind) will make people do not want to stay in a community" that's common sense, and generally toxicity isn't encouraged by others. Just because 1 person in a community happens to be rude (which is very subjective) doesn't mean the whole community agree with what they say. Generally, it (should) help your mental health to not simply accept what others say at face value and to maybe see what they really mean. 99% of toxic comments on the internet are made purely to get a reaction out of someone, so there's no reason to think that everything someone says is their actual opinion, or if it is, it's generally due to someone having a bad day (or for some people extended periods of time where they are depressed) and they aren't in their right mindset. Of course some toxic people exist in almost every facet of everything, but there's no reason to generalize a whole community over the actions of a single individual (this is known as stereotyping). Overall, I believe most people try their best to be fair, and criticizing a whole community over a few bad actors or personal experiences that you personally had isn't really going to help anyone here. If you have any truly bad experiences, the community here will tend to have your back, and I'm sorry that you've had some negative experiences. However, everyone has their own moral compass, so a lot of things that might offend or hurt you might not seem that bad to others, and often times they are written purely as satirical jokes or by people who know nothing of the situation. To reference your post about the 'mod ban' https://www.speedrun.com/the_site/thread/10j5q when people said ""Pika is indeed a mod farmer.", "PikAsriel: the farming pokémon"." those are comments from people who know nothing about you (to my knowledge). They simply knew you moderated a lot of games, and without knowing any better, to the average onlooker that's one of the main signs of a mod farmer. If you think about their perspective, their comments aren't super off-handed and realistically, those comments shouldn't really affect you in any way if you know you truly moderate all the games you are a mod in. The only reason I would think this could affect your mental health would be if you actually were mod farming and don't like getting called out. I could obviously be wrong here, but that's just how it seems from my perspective. At the end of the day, I hope that you're all right despite the comments people might have made in your directions and that you have bright days ahead of you, and I hope you're able to regard my comment here as a critique and not a personal attack of your beliefs/character.
Best of luck, Sizzyl
Not wanna be rude, but this sounds like a you problem then @PikAsriel
Know your boundaries and seperate emotions from rationalism. I am here heavily limited by the lack of words for this subject, but in therapy it is a common thing to practice setting up reasonable boundaries and protecting your own boundaries while accepting the boundaries of others. I think it was called DBT (Dialectical behavior therapy) where people practice this a lot.
I mean it is appropriate to have critiquing sometimes if it is reasonable but sometimes there are just kind of people critiquing other people without understanding the whole thing. Guess I should have explained more clear
[quote=PikAsriel]I mean it is appropriate to have critiquing sometimes if it is reasonable but sometimes there are just kind of people critiquing other people without understanding the whole thing. Guess I should have explained more clear[/quote]
If you feel someone's critiquing you without full knowledge of your intention or about the situation in general, you can either just ignore them or, if you feel like it, you can try and explain things to them so that they can see what you see. I agree that most conflict derives from misunderstandings, so talking to people to sort things out most of the times helps solve issues.
That being said, some people are impervious to logic and reason at times, so ignoring them might be the best course of action here. If it's not something you can do and it's taking a toll on your psyche (which by reading your post I surmise it does) then perhaps you might want to take a break from all this.
Save for a select few, speedrunning is not our job or our livelihood, but rather a hobby. In that sense, it's not worth losing years of your lifespan and your mental health over it. If you eventually find yourself back on your feet again, you can always come back. :)
Good luck!
