Mr. Mary's route

THE GAME credits% route by Zlew

Who would have ever thought that anyone would speedrun such criticism-based game, let alone route it! 
This is the route I have used in my 12:58 run, for now it seems the most optimal. Most of it is holding two buttons, to be honest.

General info
¤ This game is all about falling down a platform to your death. On most levels you will want to hold Up and Left arrows, because that way you fall down easier. When you casually walk off the platform, you gain velocity much slower than the mentioned way.
¤ In most cases after you fall off you will hear a smash sound followed by a screenshake and a screen with a joke. That's when you will want to smash the hell out of the bottom center part of the game window - that's where the Next Level button appears.
¤ It's a Flash game. Don't expect firework or time-saving glitches. Minor overlooks at best.

What you call a good run?
	I call a run good if it meets following criteria:
		- No/little time lost on pressing buttons
		- No deaths in Global Warming
		- Quick Shooting Lawyers In The Face
		- Quick Capitalism
		- Not screwing up with buttons on Democracy, Alternative Medicine, Euthanasia
		- Typed fast in Psychic
		- A run is GOLDEN if it's Dance%

THE ROUTE

1. ANARCHISM
	- Press the "PLAY" button and hold Up+Left until you fall.
		That's the introduction to the rest of the game.
2. PANTHEISM
	- Continue to hold Up+Left

3. HOLLOW EARTH
	- Keep holding Up+Left
		You will not crater because "you fell all the way through China"
4. NIHILISM
	- Don't let go of Up+Left

5. COMMUNISM
	- Walk left until you're about half in the guy next to you and then jump.
		You finally get to do something else, wow.
6. COMMUNISM 2
	- Press any button as soon as the game starts, then wait for Joseph to kick you out.
		I do not recommend holding buttons prior to the level starting up because that might trigger a glitch in which you fall off the stage before Joseph appears, which makes the level end faster, but you get softlocked in the next level.
7. MONOGAMY
	- Walk to the right until you reach the other woman.
		You even get to change directions! See, this game is fun! Also a valuable lesson on having multiple wives.
8. CENSORSHIP
	- Watch the cutscene.
		Cutscenes are very important when it comes to the game's message. That's probably why you can't skip them.
9. FATALISM
	- Hold Up+Right.
		Mmm, back to the basics.
10. SHOOTING LAWYERS IN THE FACE
	- Spam your mouse button between words "SHOOTING" and "LAWYERS" at about half of words' height, so you can start the game as soon as possible. When it starts, shoot the lawyer and then spam the bushes he fell into to kill the reporter and trigger a cutscene.
		PROTIP: When the cutscene is playing, you will be greeted with a dramatic close-up to a female agent commiting murder. On the second close-up, get your mouse cursor on her lips - that's where Next Level button will appear.
11. DOMESTIC SPYING
	- Hold Up+Right and then watch how professionally you held it.
		DEATH TO AMERICA!
12. ALCOHOLISM
	- Get your mouse cursor ready between "be" and "any" words in the subtitle. As soon as the level starts, grab "the drunk bastard" and pull him to the either side.
		give me your damn keys
13. THE FIVE STAGES
	- Hold Up+Left for the first three stages, after these the game will take control.
		On the third stage you can press Space to enter the mysterious Dance% category.
14. ABSTINENCE ONLY
	- Press the "PLAY" button the same way you did in the first level, hold Up+Left and close the error message which will appear when your entire body falls under the platform.
		You can actually drag the error message around.
15. TIBET
	- Hold any arrow to trigger a cutscene.
		You're being shot continuously but you won't actually die.
16. FEMINISM
	- You can choose two options here: Freedom and Damned Groceries.
		- If you chose Freedom, hold Left and jump when you pass the third dress.
		- If you chose Damned Groceries, hold Right until you trigger a cutscene.
		Damned Groceries save half a second.
17. GLOBAL WARMING
	- Walk right until you reach Gore Mansion.
		It's the only autoscroller and actual platformer in the entire game. You want to hug the right side of the screen for as long as possible. You can't control your jump in mid-air. Also don't hold Up when jumping up platforms - the game can register that as another jump and get you screwed when combined with the previous statement. When you reach the spikes try to stay a little bit further from the side of the screen to give yourself some space to react.
18. MC ESCHER
	- Walk on the stairs clockwise until you start falling down.
		It is actually possible to miss the trigger for falling down, so make sure you walk on the top-right platform.
19. SCIENCE
	- Hold Up+Left for the first experiment, then just any arrow.
		Durin the Large Hadron Collider segment your cursor gets sucked in, but it's just a visual aspect.
20. CONSERVATISM
	- Hold Up+Left.
		Hey, we're conservatists too. Holding those arrows.
21. CAPITALISM
	- First spam the bottom-right corner to trigger the game, and then collect as much money as possible, until you fall.
		The more money you collect the bigger you grow, so grab many dollas in the beginning to enlarge your capabilities!
22. DEMOCRACY
	- Press any of the 6 buttons in the bottom-left corner, then close the error message [pic] and spam the bottom right corner for the "QUIT" button
		The "QUIT" button is clickable when the "2 months later" text appears, even though it's not visible right away.
23. ANIME
	- Hold Up+Left.
		no...it cannot be...
24. MUSIC ARTISTS
	- There are 3 choices: Heavy Metal, MC Hammer and Britney Spears. The last one is significantly faster than the other ones, so I'll describe only that one.
		- Spam the middle of the "T" letter in "ARTISTS" word in the title to trigger the game as soon as possible, then just spam Left and Right arrows until Britney falls over.
25. MEDICARE
	- Hold Left+Up.
		please hold up...
26. EUTHANASIA
	- Hold Left+Up, after you get in the loop spam the button that appears in the upper part of the screen.
		The button will become active when it fully appears.
27. ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE
	- This level has 5 options, but the middle one (New Age) is the fastest. To trigger it as soon as possible spam middle-far right part of the "C" in "MEDICINE" word. 
		If you somehow choose Homeopathy, you can as well restart.
28. PACIFISM
	- Hold Up+Left.
		This time instead of falling to your death you're greeted with a NICE commentary.
29. COUCHES
	- Spam the middle left part of the "U" letter in the title, after you trigger the level spam left and right.
		Choosing the other person is fine too, you just have to spam Up and Down.
30. TROLL
	- Hold Space to start the level. After 120 seconds spam the are under the "BA" letters in "BANNED" to trigger a "prize".
		This level is a high score attack. It's up to you if you want to eat some internet people or take a breath. Also protip: When receiving your prize keep your cursor on half the mic stand height, so you can hit the Next Level button properly. There's a prize replay button just a bit above it and you DON'T want to click it.
31. DOPE
	- Walk to the right. After you grab the cannabis leaf keep walking and start jumping when you pass the place it currently was in (4 steps while high)
		canna-bless
32. TAMING OF THE SHREW
	- Hold Up+Left.
		so kinky.
33. BUSH ADMINISTRATION
	- Get yourself killed.
		You have 5 lives. You can lose them all by touching the asteroids. The most consistent way to finish the level is just to stay inside them.
34. SUPERNATURAL CLAIMS
	- Sit back for 40 seconds. Watch out for jumpscares.
		¤inhales irony¤
35. PRISONER'S DILEMNA
	- Spam bottom-right corner when the game starts to trigger the "PAROLE" button and end the level.
		Don't bend.
36. PSYCHIC
	- Reply to the first question with "yes", and to the second with any phrase longer than two letters.
		This one is interesting. Unless you type "yes" or "yea" in the first box you will retrigger the question. Second box though takes anything.
37. WAR ON TERROR
	- Hold Up+Left
		Death to America no more...?
38. COMEDY
	- Hold Up+Left, then press the "PLAY" button while still holding those arrows and fall again.
		ITSA ME
39. THE END
	- Hold Up+Left. Stop counting time when the credits start rolling.


CLOSING WORDS

Hope this route helped you guys in running this game.  Personally I enjoyed the game a lot, even though most of its memes are outdated by now.

2016-2017 Mr. Mary

Mr_Mary

:The Game:

VANCANTORUS

milkmans2

Euro885

grayson69

Questions for :the game: TAS

One thing

Theretrogamerbay

MaximalMegaminx

duckboycool

BearGurz