The Official Copy Pasta Thread (no copy pasterino plz)
9 years ago
Bavaria, Germany

Because this form of art should be saved forever!

It's Baker. I just wanted to say I really enjoyed the speedrun. Me and the boys want to thank you, and remind you, you got our respect. Good day. Keep riding hard, son.

M00n, it's Lighnat0r. You're a marvel! I'm a marvel! They love us. We are re-writing the record books, pal. We are talking major awards here. I can put my dad in a home and tell him to shut up. It's hot, man. Hot. H. O. T. He never believed in me. Never thought I was an artist, and now You've made it. You're the best damn skin flick director of all time, my friend. And I just wanted to say, it's a pleasure to have met you. I love you, baby. Don't you go changing on me, you hear.

GTA 5 is amazing because literally 100s of people worked together to code, animate and playtest a multi-million dollar game and at no point did anyone realise that it isn't actually fun.

Oh, wonderful! Incredible Lighnat0r, incredible. No wimps, just real men, and the beautiful women! Anyway, I wanted to tell you, me and #gta, to us, you Cuban. You have proved yourself man. You got big cojones.

Eidgod, I really enjoyed viewing with you. Ain't had so much fun since the ridge in Nam pal. Anyhows, you need anything you call on me, you hear!? I always remember those I ran with and I'm sure I can help you out, you hear!?

South Georgia

Needs more k-chat

Yeah but you and Dick, and Percy, and Willy are all Love Fist. The four Scottish Horsemen of the Apocalypse! Fist Till Morning! Take it on the Chin! Zinc Deficiency! Four Boys against Your Face! Great tracks, what memories. And here you say you dedicate the run to the children of the night. Who are they?

Yo, this is Weng, man. Hey, I'm on the phone with #gta. Hey whats up m00n? I'm a huge fan, I watch all your runs, I get crazy. I wear my #gta t-shirt everyday, even when I'm with my old lady. Hey, I heard there are subliminal messages in your commentary, is that true?

Tyrone, Northern Ireland

Hey Pac, just wanted to drop ya a message and personally thank you for your streams. I do enjoy them very much and as a viewer I appreciate how much and how well you interact with the chat. I know when running it's not always easy but you do a great job with the streams and chat interaction as well. On the rare occasion I stream I strive to keep the chat in the loop as well. That's all from me, just wanted to give ya a little twitch love and say how much I enjoy your content. See ya around the GTA streams or in yours again soon! Thanks again for all you do! :)

You do a great job Pac and I personally just wanted to take a minute and say thanks for all you do and you have a loyal viewer here. If I can't catch ya live I always watch the past broadcast. I'll see ya soon for sure. Thanks again for everything! :)

Australia

This is not the run. If these words could possibly describe the amount of negativity in my body right at this very moment, your screen would shatter in shock. This whole run is a joke. There's been tons of fuck ups everywhere, the sole reason he's ahead right now is due to his abomination of a previous run. He's also a complete and utter choker in intense situations and fucks up and every possible chance he gets. He doesn't like you guys, he doesn't enjoy streaming, the only reason he still streams is to get donations in order to pay for a roof over his sorry ass. He has no social life, all he does is stream all day and buy shitty materiel products with the money he earns from twitch. I can't believe he hasn't quit already. This is a complete and utter disgrace to speedrunning.

I like to raise my Donger, I do it all the time ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ and every time its lowered┌༼ຈل͜ຈ༽┐ I cry and start to whine ┌༼@ل͜@༽┐ But never need to worry ༼ ؛ل͟؛༽ my Donger's staying strong ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ A Donger saved is a Donger earned, so sing the Donger song! ᕦ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕤ

That's it, I'm done. Fuck this chat. It's devolved into a mass of retarded copy pastes and face spam. The quality of twitch chat has been declining for a while, but this is the last straw. That's it. I'm done. I'm uninstalling the internet, chopping off my dick and moving to fucking Antarctica, at least the bacteria there will be fucking smarter discourse.

Guys stop spamming, I don't understand why you is all spamming like there that are really inrespectful for other people. Now please be adults then stop spamming. Also don't copy/paste this comment.

Mr. S, I don't like your stream at all. You are using glitches to destroy this amazing game. You seem very bored and the magic of freeman is gone from your spirit. Please stop glitching video games. If the developers wanted you to do what you do they would have told you about this! Glitching is cheating and if you don't stop glitching I'm gonna call the glitch police.

Shanz i am in love with you and i am not ashamed to admit it. your speedruns of this classic video game make me want to roll up all of my belongings and make my way right into your life. you are a shining star and your streams are always the happiest times of my day. if i have a bad day at school or work, I know I can count on you to cheer me up and that you'll be waiting for me here on the internet. even though I only know you through your video game playing I really feel a connection! we have a lot in common. well, what do you think shanz??

IBubbles likes this
Bavaria, Germany

A famous speedrunner once said, that the extraordinary is in what we do, not who we are. I'd finally set out to make my mark; to find adventure. But instead adventure found me. In our darkest resets, when life flashes before us, we find something; Something that keeps us going. Something that pushes us.

Just remember your training. You can get the best RNG in the world but it won't mean a thing if you can't focus. The key to any speedrun is focus.

Netherlands

ZFG copy pasta's might be a bit cliché, but this is one of my favorites.

ZFG packed a bag with his nintendo 64, OoT, and his lucky mashing spoon before setting out on his journey on his majestic steed, Epona (that’s the name he gave to his bicycle.) He rode to the end of his driveway and fell over on his bike. “Oh my god.” He said as he reset. This repeated for the next few hours because he wanted green splits for the beginning of his adventure.

Tyrone, Northern Ireland

As seen in Josh's chat

"kappa this, kappa that" Does it ever stop? When will this stuff stop being HILARIOUS to people? I mean seriously is there no originality left on this world? Are we all just monkey see monkey do? I don't know about you guys but I'm sick of every time I look up a game, or a forum post, anything really I have to scroll past like 50 of these.

Hey Mods, This isn't a Copy Paste, but I just wanted to let you know, you're all Nazi Mods. Thanks, and stop. It's not cool. If I wanted you to ban me, I would post giant E-Peens of ASCII art, but I don't, so don't. That's not cool. I would prefer it if you actually learned to be a mod instead of being a Nazi. Nazi was the cause of a World War, do we really need the 3rd one already? So, just stop. Thanks, and stop.

Australia

S, I am honored. This whole run was a huge success. Now you have the WR. But are you satisfied? Do you think that you will ever break your PB aka WR again after this? No. You won't be able to. You will sink into Sell-Out% just like Cosmo. I am disappointed in you. You getting the WR is the worst thing that could happen to you. It is literally the end of you. Just go outside for a day and maybe get a job and do Sports. Son, I am disappoint.

Hello, I am currently 13 years old and I want to become a penguin. I know there’s a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I’m different. On December 14th, I’m moving to Antarctica; home of the greatest penguins. I’ve already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a penguin yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need by subscribing to my channel, I will become the greatest penguin ever. Thanks

I'm a Twitch employee and I'm stopping by to say your Twitch chat is out of control. I have received several complaints from your very own viewers that their chat experience is ruined because of constant Emote and Copypasta spamming. This type unacceptable by Twitch's standards and if your mods don't do something about it we will be forced to shut down your channel. Wish you all the best!

This chat is awful, literally ass, except ass can bring pleasure, and this chat is the goddamn antithesis of pleasure. This chat takes life from children and kittens and puts that pure innocence into phallic cancer pus. This chat is disappointment and hate of humanity funneled into barely literate text that takes intelligence and shits all over it before making a shit sculpture out of the souls of everyone watching this whore of a stream. Everyone in this chat is the dregs of humanity, if even that, content with postulating whatever ass talk they can squeeze out of the withered rectum of their wasted lives.

Adam, I appreciate you. You come on Twitch every day and do what you love, all while ignoring the chat trolls. You've proven to me that you are the bigger donger in this world full of raising. When you get the world record, I want you to know that I will be naming my first born child after you. "Adamgirl" or "Adamguy". You're invited to his or her first birthday as well. I hope you can make it!

Hey my name is Jeff. I just ate two hard boiled eggs for lunch. Usually I eat three, but I wasn't feeling hungry today since my Mom made me chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. Maybe tomorrow I'll eat three eggs, but I guess I'll have to see what my mom makes me in the morning.

Stiv I hope you can see this message now that the chat has died down. I wanted to say congrats! I know you can do a little bitter but I always want to tip my hat off to you. Through thick and thin I will still be here to always support you. I know times are hard, but you always come back with a good attitude. I wish you the very best on your next runs, and hope you get an even better score. I will continue to be here and find new strats as always. Great job Stiv. I am rooting for you always! You should be proud!

Mr. ZFG I don't like your stream at all. You are using glitches to destroy this amazing game. You seem very bored and the magic of zelda is gone from your spirit. Please stop glitching video games. If the developers wanted you to do what you do they would have told you about this! Glitching is cheating and if you don't stop glitching I'm gonna call the glitch police.

[NINTENDO STREAMS ONLY] Hey chat, hey Stelzig...Reggie from Nintendo here. I'm glad to see that you are enjoying one of our finer games, Super Mario Sunshine, but I'm going to have to ask you to refrain from breaking it like you are. You are NOT playing it the way we wanted you to, and you are having a lot less fun than you could. Please consider or your body won't be ready for the Nintendo Lawyers. Thank you Mr. Glitcher, and Game on! - Regginator

つ ◕_◕ ༽つ KELP SKIP OR RIOT ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

J_duude and IanAC like this
Netherlands

Hello ZFG. I’m from the future. A dreadful future where speedrunners are kept in cages, being forced to speedrun for the entertainment of others. All of this happened because of you. In a few months you will get a 4:20:69 OoT 100%. The chats response will be so overwhelming that the servers explode, millions of lives will be lost. I managed to escape from my cage and set out on a quest to stop this madness. When I pulled my sword out of Zeldo’s pedestal I travelled back in time. Please, ZFG, quit this category while you still can.

Hi [strimmer name], this is your grandma. So this is where you hang out all the time. Your grandpa and I were getting a bit worried, we haven’t seen you in weeks. I am very glad to see that you seem to be doing all right. However, now that I’m watching this run, I’m not so sure anymore. You’ve been making mistakes and have been bleeding time throughout the entire run so far. Perhaps you should take a break and come visit your G-Pa and G-Ma, I’ve baked you some cookies. I know you will probably want to finish this run anyway, so we’ll see you in a few hours. Now, go and make your nana proud.

Netherlands

Hi my name is Ladyfrozen and I am a 19 year old girl that one day dreams to be a cat. I hope to travel to the land of africa to join the legendary jungle cats of the wild in order to learn their ways. I hope that one day I will be as great as they will ever be. I have glued permanent whiskers to my face and have begun to claw and meow viciously naked, while licking my arm up and down constantly. I even had a hairball early today, that means I'm making progress. Pls no copy pasteriono.

Portugal

Dear Strimer, you seem to be playing the wrong game. Let me give you the wise advice of trying San Andreas and all the magical wonders of Driving School. Your majestic gameplay techniques look overshadowed by your disgraceful driving skills. Strimer you could be the best GTA runner in the Universe and get teh urn every time. Hope you read this, I will always support you Strimer

Hesse, Germany

Hallo alter, bist du wieder am zocken? Es ist immer wieder schön dir beim Spielen zu zusehen, du kannst einen richtig gut Unterhalten. Sei es, wenn du über das Spiel redest, noch vielleicht über aktuelles in den Nachrichten. Dein Inhalt auf twitch bringt vielen wie auch mir Freude. Bitte Unterhalte uns auf dieser Plattform noch viele Jahre lang. Lass dich nicht unterkriegen von irgendwelchen Affen, die nichts besseres zu tun haben, als dich zu beleidigen und deine Stimmung zu vermiesen. Du bist cool, PUNKT!

could be a good copypasta for OGEid Kappa

Massachusetts, USA

hi adam ak i em olombo bongo frm Somalia. erryday i watch u strim u are favourit strimmer i sell kidney 4 laptop 2 i can watch u strem. i work in bannana facotry an 1 day i cum to amerika LAND OF FREDDOM so i be lyke u and strim 4 monies insted of pick banana, WOO USAsss al pacino, malcolm in middle, stevo-o, mike 'the situation' sorrentino.

hi ceilinfrige i em olombo bongo frm Somalia. erryday i watch u strim u are favourit strimmer i sell kidney 4 laptop 2 i can watch u strem. i work in bannana facotry an 1 day i cum to nederland LAND OF FREDDOM so i be lyke u and strim 4 monies insted of pick banana, WOO HOLLANDsss weed, hardstyle, fridges on the ceiling, gouda cheeserino

hi Adam ak, my nam is yakov and im from Serbia. i jus want to say tha i walk 17 hours in the snow to nearest internets conection to be watch u strem. u are my favouritte streamer and u always brightn up my life and let poor people like me arund the world who work in potatoe factory see cool gaems be played. 1 day i want to be a stremmer lyke u. thanx for reading this, u make me so proud. sorry for not propeller english, much love frum Yakov Abeldis, age 11.

was speedrunning a few weeks ago when my mom walked in. I usually lock the door (cuz speedrunning and urine bottles in the closet), but I forgot to this time. The speed her face turned from happy to downright disgusted is a world record in itself. She slammed the door of the basement behind her and didn't make me dinner. When driving me to school, she wouldn't look at me. It felt awkward, so to make small talk, I tried to explain the intricacies of cannonless and how my hero paints his nails and bought an expensive chinese knockoff system just to get a WR and how he doesn't do anything with his life except play fun video games. This just made her start to weep as she stared out the dashboard

Guys, there was a news article about google purchasing Twitch today and there was a picture of a random stream with its chat. GUESS WHAT - someone still managed to insert Kappa face in chat. Seriously this kappa face emoticon fever needs to stop. Every time you look at chat, there is a kappa face, please stop okay? i cant even view news article without it having a Kappa in it. for fuk sake.

REMOVE KEBAB remove kebabyou are worst turk. you are the turk idiot you are the turk smell. return to croatioa. to our croatia cousins you may come our contry. you may live in the zoo….ahahahaha ,bosnia we will never forgeve you. cetnik rascal FUck but fuck asshole turk stink bosnia sqhipere shqipare..turk genocide best day of my life. take a bath of dead turk..ahahahahahBOSNIA WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget ww2 .albiania we kill the king , albania return to your precious mongolia….hahahahaha idiot turk and bosnian smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE KEBAB FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. russia+usa+croatia+slovak=kill bosnia…you will ww2/ tupac alive in serbia, tupac making album of serbia . fast rap tupac serbia. we are rich and have gold now hahahaha ha because of tupac… you are ppoor stink turk… you live in a hovel hahahaha, you live in a yurt tupac alive numbr one #1 in serbia ….fuck the croatia ,..FUCKk ashol turks no good i spit in the mouth eye of ur flag and contry. 2pac aliv and real wizard kill all the turk farm aminal with rap magic now we the serba rule .ape of the zoo presidant georg bush fukc the great satan and lay egg this egg hatch and bosnia wa;s born. stupid baby form the eggn give bak our clay we will crush u lik a skull of pig. serbia greattst countrey?

ATTENTTION SPEED MAN. Hey speed man, im watching you with my wife and kids. Could you please go a little slower? we're trying to figure out what Tommy's superpower is. no mortal could go through the ground and stuff. also my wife baked some meat loaf for dinner, want to come over? thank you speed man and god bless

Can you fuckers PLEASE stop spamming the chat, I come home after a long day at work cleaning the SHIT out old peoples BUTTHOLES to watch some relaxing dota, and what do you do? do nothing but spam the chat. Does that make you happy? ruining the chat experience for everyone. do the world a favor and kill yourself , you aren't needed on this planet. THANK YOU. PLEASE NO COPY PASTERINO

Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8? i dropped out of newcastle primary skool im the sickest bloke ull ever meet & ive nicked ova 300 chocolate globbernaughts frum tha corner shop. im trained in street fitin' & im the strongest foker in tha entire newcastle gym. yer nothin to me but a cheeky lil bellend w/ a fit mum & fakebling. ill waste u and smash a fokin bottle oer yer head bruv, i swer 2 christ. ya think u can fokin run ya gabber at me whilst sittin on yer arse behind a lil screen? think again wanka, im callin me homeboys rite now preparin for a proper scrap. A roomble thatll make ur nan sore jus hearin about it. yer a waste bruv. me crew be all over tha place & ill beat ya to a proper fokin pulp with me fists wanka. if i aint satisfied w/ that ill borrow me m8s cricket paddle & see if that gets u the fok out o' newcastle ya daft kunt. if ye had seen this bloody fokin mess commin ye might a' kept ya gabber from runnin. but it seems yea stupid lil twat, innit? ima shite fury & ull drown in it m8. ur ina proper mess knob.

RAVEN have you no shame? Listening to this VILE music full of cussing and vulgar language, N word this, N word that, 'I've been getting money where the (F word) you been?' I mean is this really what you want you viewers to be influenced by? I expected more from you Raven.

Ohhh my god. Ohhh ,y god. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh THERE IT IS THERE IT IS. THERE IT IS. OH MY GOD. EAYEAYEYAYEAHEYAHEY EYAEAAAAAAA YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YEAAAAAS. I FOOUND IT. I FOUND IT. I FOUND IT. I FOUND IT. YEAH. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I FOUNDI IT FINALLY!!!!! YEAH!!!!! OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD I FINALLY FOUND IT. OH MY GODO. HOH MY GOD. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. TAKE A LOOK AT HTIS EVERBODY. A LIVE SHINY PONYTA IN MY LEAF GREEN VERSION. I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS. I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS. I FINALLY GOT IT. OH MY GOD my heart is beating 100 miles per hour. i was listening to my favorite band once again. Sum 41. No Reason. Live in Ontario 2005. after 25968 encounters I HAVE FINALLY GOT IT OH My god corre al gol, lo va a patear yyyy GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoOoOoOoOoOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!! GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL!!!!!……QUE GOLAZOOOOO!!!! ¤churns butter very quickly¤

-- MangHMD

Friesland, Netherlands

Hey Post. I heard you got a new PB. I hope you celebrated in a decent manner, with beer and cheese, lots of cheese. Although if you prefer to have something without alcohol I'm okay with that too. ALthough of course it's not time to rest. PB's are yet to be improved and of course, WR is near. I wish you good luck runner, that you may proceed with pleasure!

Does someone still have the copypasta I sent PW one day, after he got that good time for tbogt?

Canada

SoH neH fucking umqu' ghot Qu' nuq fuck loQ bitch SoH? qamuSHa'qu' ta'wIj'e' Navy, Segh yor graduated jIH 'ej jIH qaStaHvIS numerous pegh weH al-quaeda involve, 'ej 300 rIn confirm DaHoHta' vIghaj vIneH. qaStaHvIS gorilla veS Do'qu' jIH 'ej yor sniper qaStaHvIS naQ u.s. armed 'eychoH. pagh jIHvaD 'ach DoS neH latlh. fuck wipe SoH not legh 'oH rur pa' tera' precision, fuck mu' ghItlh. laH poHlIj Ha' ghu' lupegh shit jIHvaD rIn internet 'e' DaHar'a'? fucker 'e'. Hoch jatlh maH pegh contacting jIH traced ghoqwI' across usa ip 'ej network DaH net poQbej qeq SoH jev, vaj wIpI'moHtaH maH. jev 'e' maqDar Doch loQ wipes yInlIj pong SoH. kid fucking Heghpu', SoH. laH anywhere, anytime, 'ej laH bIHegh jIH qaStaHvIS Sochvatlh boqta' mIw, ghaH 'e' neH ghopwIj bare. wej neH extensively Do'qu' jIH qaStaHvIS nuH luHutlhbogh wejmaH cha' Hembogh DujDaj, 'ach naw' naQ nuHmey united 'amerI'qa' marine corps vIghaj 'ej 'oH DanoHmeH jIH naQ extent wipe tlhoch, reH ass qab mojmeH, SoH shit loQ DoH. vaj neH nuq unholy retribution comment loQ "val" jIqapruppu': qem ghaH SoH laH DaSov'a', chaq fuck QIchlIj 'uch SoH. 'ach couldn't SoH, vIchel SoH, 'ej DaH 'ay' yIbuS, petaQ goddamn SoH. all over SoH fury shit jIH 'ej drown, 'ej SoH qaStaHvIS 'oH. kiddo fucking Heghpu', SoH.

That's the kind of mockery that's going to get us all killed when the new world order takes over. Mark my words. It started with small changes like fluoride in our water, and now it's progressed into internet mockery by Zionist agents who want to control what the population thinks and feels. Once we are all brainwashed by this constant illuminati propaganda, they'll have no problems taking away our guns or imprisoning us for profit. Good luck when they take over, at least some people can take the threat seriously. This is all part of their grand "indoctrination plan".

Netherlands

Hi. I'm actor Morgan Freeman. You might remember me from such films as "You're reading this in my voice", "You are now swallowing, breathing and blinking manually", "Uncross your legs and realise there is no comfortable spot in your mouth for your tongue, it just sits there awkwardly", "Did you forget that your jaw has weight, forcing you to manually hold it closed", "You're producing saliva too", "Your body is itching in at least one place", "You now realise you need to go to the toilet", "You haven't cleared your throat for a while" and telethons such as "You probably didn't even see the stream title yet".

Netherlands

Hi, Billy Mays here. Order a number nine now, and you will get an extra number nine large! But wait, there's more! We'll even throw in a number six with extra sauce AND a number seven! If you order within the next ten minutes, you'll even get not one, but TWO number forty-fives. You heard that right, TWO number forty-fives! And to make it even more special, one of them is with cheese AND a LARGE soda! So call 555-WE-TIP NOW and get ALL of that for just $6,99!

Turkey

(i was going to donate with the whole n0tail copypasta during SR3 but decided that it was for ESA) "tyr u r fuckin perfect m8. you're a flower. you're also a rainbow and a river. you are the manifestation of all perfection and i want to i don't fucking know. i want this to not sound gay, but you are fucking perfect, tyr. ty for listening"