- makes a forum
- talks about a feature everyone knows about
- when asked to elaborate, leaves

the true karlson goat

BREAKING NEWS: B-Hopping has been reenabled as of the 19th of April until the 24th. Make use of this limited time gamemode, and enjoy!

bro @jannik323jannik323 makes the best copypastas for no reason

you are karlson

my man.. theres a whole thread about how auto b hop is a thing

give me your cc details

Why does no one believe that i got stung by a bee

108 days, Mr. Walker2. I have lost all hope in humanity. I've been trying to contact my children but they do not want to talk to me. Why, you may ask? These animals do not understand the beauty of the automatic bunny hop in Karlson. It opens a third eye, in a sense. But these mortals do not understand this. They think i'm a sort of "junkie" while i am opening a portal into the dimension of all the hopper bunnies. I am ever so close to opening this portal, but i need compensation. $1,5000,000 to be exact. may someone help me? to show and ridicule these IDIOTS that think that my addiction is for nothing. I will come back one day. I will prove you all wrong. GOD PRAISE THE HOPS!

no way let sgo!

@derric_youngderric_young man why u got literally every website linked under your account

Dear Alphawalker2,

77 days ago, I've become addicted to this "drug". However a problem has taken place.

cZar Void was right. They patched it. Mr. Walker, whatever will I do? i've grown an addiction so large i cannot just leave it behind. you need to find me an alternative strategy. anything, i'll do anything! i need to be able to auto bhop vv

Dear AlphaWalker,

It's been over 70 days. I've grown to create some sort of addiction with using this discovery of yours. My life has been tumbling down a vertical hill ever since i tried to use that god damned discovery. my wife, my kids, my parents, my siblings. All of them have cut me out of their life. Please, mr. Walker, help me get my life back on track. I really need your help right about now.

when they talk about in game timer theyre probably talking about any% runs not having the livesplit showing.

Dear AlphaWalker2,
I would like to thank you for letting me know about this strategy, as it now managed to help me get a top 5 time! you truly have changed my life, and i am now a believer of the autobhop rumour.

ShinyyyRelaxo i agree. how foolish does he think we are, spreading these lies?

im pretty sure this thread was a shitpost the whole time

@DimRedDimRed I like that idea, but I instead connect my vr headset and jump in real life so it translates to the game itself. this auto bhopping might be worth learning!

hmm yes attacking enemies is totally a thing in somnium

Speedrun of getting over it is fake because everyone use golden pot to speedrun that give you high jump and makes game much easier than the normal one

if you mean "can you press retry in a run", then yes. If this is not what you meant then please elaborate.