Practiced this for a good week. Still about 30 seconds left to save on my splits, with sub-31 being theoretically possible with preferable RNG.

Notes:

• Playing USA version due to Saru enemies being mostly predictable and Kunoichi enemies sometimes turning into SNK bosses.
• Mortars in stages 1, 4, and 7 appear to be on a global timer.
• Backbreaker, Blaster Combo, and Blaster Bomb do absurd amounts of damage.
• Dashing is faster than the dash kick, except when the dash kick knocks enemies down from the edge of the screen.
• Stage 1 boss is beaten with crouch attacks into throw.
• Stage 2 boss loses i-frames during his windup animation, can be hit with a dash if you're knocked down.
• Stage 3 boss can be baited into staying in the fight if you move away from him, but he becomes easily unpredictable.
• Stage 4 boss pattern is knockdown -> move forward -> attack. Nunchuck combo is safe due to hitting enemies behind you.
• Stage 5 boss pattern is knockdown -> stand still -> attack -> throw. Nunchuck through the big guys if possible.
• Stage 6 bosses only take damage once if they are both hit on the same frame. Try to sit back and use nunchuck combos for extra damage, and time bombs to do double damage.
• Stage 7 boss is unpredictable. Safe strat is to chase him into the corner with crouch punches. If you crouch walk into him during his recovery, you'll grab him, but there's not enough time to move him anywhere.
• Stage 8's left route is generally faster, though riskier. It affects the first two checkpoints and has generally more difficult room and hallway battles, but with less enemy hit points. With no mistakes, it saves over ten seconds.