Which one should I learn first
I would learn Red Remover before either of those. It helps with reaction time, hand-eye coordination, and dexterity; which will serve you well for speedruns looking forward into the future.
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If he asked for specific options, don't inject your own fucking game suggestions.
is there anything more obnoxious than being told what to run despite putting forth your own preferences clearly
Go for Paper Mario. While Subspace is fun and all I feel like Paper Mario might have a more current route. That and in subspace you have to use Olimar and Pit at some point and they suck.
Edited by the author